My Bottom 5 of 2013

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5.  47 Ronin:  The most recent movie on my list, 47 Ronin was a boring and poorly constructed mess, with nothing notable to make it worth watching.  The acting is flat, the story is predictable and lazy, and every line of dialogue is exposition.  Never is anything said to further character development or connections between characters.  All dialogue is used to further the boring story.  I found this movie to be one of the hardest to sit through in a long time, having nothing of worth to offer.  Even its action held no worth, which seemed to be where the movie wanted to focus.  An all around mess.

4.  The Lone Ranger:  The second box-office disaster for Disney (the last being John Carter), The Lone Ranger is a nonsensical and annoying film.  The plot is ridicules, revolving around a railroad that will cut through Native American land, and the writer seems to have no idea how to transition between events.  Tonto (played by an incredibly annoying Johnny Depp) will exclaim that he knows where to go, because of the grass or something, and he will actually be right.  There is no explanation as to how he knows this, he just does because he is a Native American, and they know things.  Add an incompetent Lone Ranger, who complains the entire film that he has to be the Lone Ranger, and you’ve got an annoying disaster.

3.  Man of Steel:  A movie that fifty percent of people love, and fifty percent of people hate, Man of Steel played to everyone’s emotions, one way or another.  Unfortunately for me, I hated the film.  Director Zack Snyder brings us another poorly written and horribly acted film, with terrible dialogue and uninteresting characters.  The only positive this movie holds are its special effects, and even those get bogged down by monotonous action, in which Superman crashes into things, and those things explode.  And at the end, when Superman faces a moral dilemma that seems to deeply affect him, it is brushed over, as is the billions of dollars in property damage and thousands of lives lost in the alien attack.

2.  Kick A** 2:  The sequel to a far superior comic-book movie, this movie brings far less to the table then its predecessor.  It feels like a straight-to-DVD sequel, with its poor editing, bad camera work, and cheap CGI special effects.  The story ranges from dull to mind-numbingly irritating, with the story concerning Hit-Girl and her attempts to become popular being almost unbearable in its predictability and disastrous dialogue.  Characters we used to care about are written so that we no longer care, and new additions to the story (except a decent Jim Carrey) provide no help.  And the comedy, instead of revolving around the strange occurrences, now focus on simply hoping you find cursing funny.  Cursing isn’t finny, unless used to enhance an already funny situation, and some movies, including this one, need to be taught that.

1.  A Good Day to Die Hard:  Words can’t describe this movie.  I have no way to properly explain how bad this one is.  I believe last year, I said similar things regarding The Three Stooges.  I would rather watch that movie many times than this one.  Picture this.  Take everything that makes the original Die Hard compelling; its witty lead character, great villain, good practical effects and action, an interesting plot, and the vulnerability of the main character as he has to overcome incredible odds using his wits, and not his invincibility.  Imagine those great qualities are a piece of paper.  Shred that paper, then throw it into a furnace.  Out if the ashes, A Good Day to Die Hard was formed.